Gut to Be - How to trust your gut & start making authentic decisions

This topic is complex, and although I may not have the most straightforward explanation for it, you've likely been confronted with it at least once. All of us have what we call a gut feeling, and while some of us claim to trust our gut instinct/intuition, others argue that they don't have a gut feeling or don't know how to recognize it. I believe that we all do, but that some of us have developed coping mechanisms that have led us to ignore them.

Our gut feeling, aka our intuition, is this semi-conscious feeling we experience through various ways in our body. A good gut feeling is often expressed through a certain calmness/lightnes, whereas a bad gut feeling can be experienced through feelings of tightness and heaviness. The body speaks, but we have to listen to what it says.

It can be easy to confuse a bad gut feeling with anxiety. Anxiety is generally way harsher and pops up instantly. The gut, however, signals us through some bodily sensation that something is up, but we cannot really pinpoint what. If we feel like we are all over the place and anxious, then it is probably our head going into overthinking mode, making up worst-case scenarios, only to reinforce our anxiety.

Over time, I have slowly started to let go of things that are not present and feel like a fabrication of my mind, but anxious thoughts still creep up sometimes. Putting my thoughts on paper helps me separate my worries from the actual situation I am in. It allows me to put words on my emotions while lifting the burden of my thoughts. It validates how I feel and gives me the necessary distance I need in those moments.

When making decisions with our heads, we tend to ask ourselves what the most rational decision would be and how to approach it logically. We often get out all the facts we have at hand and try to make a decision based on reasoning. This can be particularly practical when making decisions that do not have a significant emotional impact. However, this strategy is not the most suitable choice when it involves making decisions about the people we love or hate, for that matter. Following our head is necessary, but this only works when our emotions are not all over the place.

Being emotionally involved is when our heart takes center stage. You've probably heard the saying, "The heart wants what it wants". But what does it even mean? To me, it means that if our heart fully desires or is deeply attached to something, then there is nothing the head can do to stop it. And while our heart can be a good guide, it cannot be our only guide. Our head will try to protect us from getting hurt, putting us in danger, or causing us to experience discomfort. Our heart, on the other hand, will be our guide when making decisions that deeply affect us on an emotional level. The decisions I am talking about here are the ones that can either bring you happy & ecstatic feelings, that can drown you in the most profound sadness or even drive you into the wildest anger.

We tend to follow our heart or head instead and this can create a feeling of inner unease, and it's precisely that feeling I would like to discuss.

So you might wonder where the gut comes in? Why do many of us not use our gut instinct enough?

It can be tricky, but practice is key here. Some people have a strong & present gut feeling — they can recognise it, make space for it, and tune into it easily. For others, it's a bit more elusive and hard to tune into. I genuinely believe we all have that inner voice within us, but some of us have learned, for one reason or another, to suppress it over time. I don’t blame you; I have been there too.

But here's the good news: this isn't permanent. You can unlearn that habit and reconnect with your intuition. It's absolutely possible to catch your gut feelings and actually hear what they're telling you. To do that, you need to start giving yourself permission to slow down, be present, and cultivate awareness. That's where it all begins.

To cultivate awareness and see how you feel about following your intuition,  you need to "gently push yourself" to make decisions you may not be used to making. Saying no and setting boundaries can feel very uncomfortable at first but you will quickly see that practice makes perfect and that when done enough, you won’t have it any other way.

Initially, avoid making decisions and adjustments when you are under stress or pressure. You can start by sitting down quietly and mentally playing out the possible options. Do I want to do this? If you feel like your gut is telling you no, ask yourself: How would I feel if I were to do this? If the answer is “not good” or if you start feeling a certain heaviness or unease, you may have caught a gut feeling.

To be more in tune with your intuition, you need to separate the stress caused by the expectations and norms you live by and decide based on what feels good and right for you, not for your mom, your spouse, your friend, or your colleague. Tune in with yourself by pausing and asking yourself simple questions like:

Am I saying yes to this because I want to? Or because it would be rude for me to say no?

For recovering people-pleasers, I know that this feels like such a heavy burden that never seems to disappear, but I promise you that it will; you just gotta put in the effort and give yourself some time. Afraid to disappoint? That’s totally normal, but at the same time, giving in to anyone and anything will result in not being true to yourself and to those around you. It's actually a lose-lose situation because you might be missing a chance to get to know yourself better and show up as yourself. I can assure you that you cannot go wrong by making decisions that align with your own values. Intuition won’t just pop up in your life if you don’t give it the necessary space it needs to bloom.

If thoughts penetrate your head and try to give you anxiety or make you feel guilty, that is not the gut speaking, but your default mode regarding what you think is expected of you. Believe me when I say that I was the master at agreeing to plans in advance by letting myself get caught up in the heat of the moment, only to regret it later, which turned into an even bigger drag. The truth is that the lessons you don't learn now, you'll learn later, so you might as well start now.

Implementing these small but significant changes can take some time, but it’s the effort that counts. Take it day by day, and sit with the uncomfortable feeling of guilt you will most likely feel in the beginning. And remember that just because you may feel guilty does not mean you are doing something wrong or being selfish.

It means that you are changing the narrative, and change, as we know,  is not meant to be comfortable.

Remember that your head wants to keep you safe, but that alone is not enough to discover and let your intuition bloom. Also, expect people to call you out for setting boundaries and taking care of yourself, but do not let that stop you.

Here are a few ways to start tuning into your gut:

• Pause before taking a decision & properly take the time to tune into how you feel about it (take a deep breath and see what your first feeling tells you, what is the first reaction you notice within yourself)

• Check in with your body responses: are you at ease and calm, or does something feel uncomfortable and not right? Think of light & peaceful vs. tight & heavy.

• Take as much as 3-5 mins a day where you sit still and practice mindfulness meditation to become aware of yourself and your surroundings. By cutting out the noise and opinions around you, you will give your inner self the space to come out and take a sneak peak (no distractions & activity around)

• Practice trusting your gut with little things (Do I feel like going to that dinner or staying in? Do I feel like reading fiction or a self-development book? I am very busy and stressed. Can I take on this additional task that was assigned to me at work, or can it wait? Is there a real urgency or am I led to believe that it is urgent?

• Keep track of what makes you feel good and gives you energy, versus what makes you feel bad and leaves you drained.

• Get comfortable saying no when something feels not right (this can be something as small as helping out a friend on a day where all you need is rest.

Our gut is a powerful friend when it comes to making decisions, but it shouldn’t be the only one. Try to see reason (the head), emotion (the heart), and intuition (the gut) as complementary rather than mutually exclusive.

The head alone can be overly rational, neglecting what truly matters to us. The heart alone can be too emotional, sometimes leading us into risky and unwise situations. The gut alone may not always provide enough clarity or context to make the right decision.

Try to view the gut as a compass — it points us in the right direction. But a compass by itself can’t move us forward; it shows the way, but it doesn’t take the steps for us.

View intuition as our first antenna to the world — it allows us to perceive our environment through our senses, just as a baby does, relying entirely on sensory experience before language and education come into play. As we grow, we often lose touch with our intuition due to our development and education that occur through norms, rules, and standardized ways of learning. That’s why it’s so valuable to reconnect with our intuition consciously. The standardization of our modern society has reinforced this loss of intuition among ourselves. You often see that those who have lived in harmony with and in connection to nature have managed to maintain a strong bond with their intuitive senses and gut.

It’s not about choosing one over the others, but about integrating all three — head, heart, and gut — to make decisions that feel real, authentic, and aligned with who we are.

Here's to You!

Love,

Alix