The Power of Being Vulnerable

Being vulnerable can have different meanings for each of us, but what I noticed is what gets triggered when we think of vulnerability. Most of us view vulnerability as a weakness because the thought of opening up, showing our bare selves, and sharing our dark parts puts us under the spotlight; everything we share gives others an opportunity to judge and attack us.

I’ve struggled with this myself. For years, I thought I was protecting myself by hiding my vulnerabilities, as if no one could be trusted enough for me to open up fully. Learning to get to know myself and prioritize my needs took time, and finding the confidence to voice them took even longer. Expressing our needs and fears can feel risky, especially when we don’t feel safe enough to do so.

I often found it incredibly hard to share my fears because, in my mind, they didn’t seem legitimate, sometimes even silly. As an overthinker, I know that many of my fears aren’t grounded in the present but are old wounds resurfacing, projecting past traumas onto current situations. When those past fears take over, and we worry about being judged, it becomes even harder to be vulnerable. I believe that’s exactly what holds so many of us back.

So, what is it about being vulnerable that can be beneficial and powerful?

First, being vulnerable builds a different kind of connection. By showing others our authentic selves, we inspire them to do the same. Sharing our fears, hopes, mistakes, and aspirations turns superficial exchanges into deeper, more meaningful ones. It opens the door to trust, intimacy, and connection.

Expressing our feelings and showing vulnerability can help us build emotional resilience. By describing what we fear, we can teach ourselves to sit with that uncomfortable feeling. Learning to ask for help, express our emotions, or share our fears feels awkward at first, but the more we do it, the more the feelings of unease start to fade, and we become more confident that whatever we have to say, we are strong enough to say it.

The fear and shame we feel around vulnerability can soften when we regain a sense of control over what scares or embarrasses us. When we choose to be vulnerable, even when we feel afraid or ashamed, we take ownership rather than being blindsided by those emotions. After all, shame hits hardest when we don’t see it coming.

By taking the lead on our fears and vulnerabilities, we create space for courage and reduce shame’s grip. Looking back on the moments I felt most ashamed, I never once felt in control. And while we can’t control everything, we can take the power out of shame by naming it, facing it, and expressing what needs to be expressed. When we do that, fear and shame lose the authority they once had over us.

Vulnerability is the little sister of authenticity. By being 100% ourselves, no matter the risk/fear/shame we might feel, we give ourselves permission to remove any barriers that might be blocking our thoughts, growth, or life. Being vulnerable is accepting being seen, and that’s beautiful. Life is too short, don’t hold these parts back. Give yourself and others the chance to be seen and understood.

Finally, vulnerability will give us peace of mind. It might sound contradictory to many of us, because how can we feel at peace in situations that make us feel weak? Well, the answer is simple. By being fully ourselves, we create alignment, which enhances authenticity and, in turn, contributes to our inner peace.

By refusing to be vulnerable, we often miss out on important moments and connections.

We risk forming superficial relationships in which we never feel truly seen or understood. Nobody can connect to us if we don’t let them know what’s underneath, and that goes both ways. If we show them, we inspire them to do the same. This often happens when we get into new relationships after experiencing betrayal and hurt. We think that by masking what scares us and by keeping up a wall, the other person cannot get to us, but that’s not how it works. When it hurts, it just hurts, and no amount of protection will keep us from hurting more. But what it can do is make us think that, because we held up our shield, they could not get to us as much, which gives us a false sense of reassurance.

By not sharing what’s really on our minds or what scares us, we choose to carry our pain alone, and that can become heavy over time. Sitting in silence will only make our pain heavier. Even though sharing our fears can be scary, you will see that over time, you will feel lighter about putting yourself out there, and if things escalate or end badly, you can always tell yourself that you were 100% real, and that is worth a lot.

When we protect ourselves from vulnerability, we stay in our comfort zone and are not keen on taking risks. We become guarded and rigid, seeing everything and everyone as a potential threat, and that’s the trap. Too many walls, not protecting us but harming us, as they can create solitude.

Being vulnerable is like taking risks, and when we avoid taking risks, we tend to miss out on opportunities. Protecting ourselves from everything we cannot control limits us in our expression, connection, and development.

When we don’t show who we truly are, we end up feeling misunderstood because the people we are dealing with aren't confronted with the real us. Again, we’re missing out here, but we think better safe than sorry.  Stop pretending otherwise; people will respond to a version of us that isn't entirely authentic.

What we miss out on when we hide our vulnerability

We miss out on true connection & intimacy. They can’t fully love you if they partially know you.

Support and comfort. People who want to be there for you but don’t know how to show up for you can’t give you the support you need.

If we’re not brave enough to be fully authentic, we will always feel like people like us for something we’re not. By being ourselves, we attract the people we need and who need us; any other superficial way will never give us fulfillment.

As much as I hate to say this, as it’s a phrase I have rolled my eyes at more than once,  but growth and comfort cannot co-exist. Growth begins where comfort ends.

Being vulnerable brings us freedom.

Whatever we do, we do it from the heart without putting up any performance or walls. To me, that’s real freedom.

Here’s to You!

Love,

Alix